For the record I do not a identify with traditional Christians. I have my own way of viewing life and religion and want my children to have their own too. The problem is my in-law have a very literal view of the bible and want me and my family to be the same. My in-law take the boys to play on Sunday so my husband and I can prep for the week ahead and they get time with the Mini and micro men, the thing is they started taking them to church with out my or my husbands OK. I am extremely pissed about this.
I do not mind my children going to church I have nothing against church, I just do not agree with my in-laws church and the belief that are held there. I have asked them to stop and had thought they did until a week or two ago when I was asked why my kids where not in church that week.
The thing is this is not the first time they have not respected my parenting choices for my children. Like when I was pulling milk for mini-mans diet to check for an allergy, my MIL gave him a cup of milk after I told her not not and she did it right in front of my face, not only did this delay the allergy elimination test it also made min-man sick. He is allergic to milk products that I just found out she continued to give him after milk was found to be an allergy because he asked her for ice cream and cheese. (thank god it is not life threatening)
I know this is turning into a rant but hay what is the use of having a personal blog if I can not go on an occasional rant.
Now I know my MIL is not all bad, in fact she can be very understanding, she is giving me extra time on my rent so my family has money for the week, but still. Have you ever just wanted to slap some one for stupidity and not respecting you and your family? She is one of the people who makes me wish I could slap people for stupidity and narrow mindedness. You send my son home with hives and wheezing and expect me know to ask what he had to eat when there are food allergies involved then you are a dumb a**. Do not tell me that it could be environmental just because you and yours are having environmental allergies, when mini-man eats the wrong thing the hives appear in a very specific order and area.
Please do not tell me how to feed my child that is between me and my Dr. and the nutritionist. We know that he doesn't look like he is too thin now but he is losing weight and when a 3 almost 4 yo who is of slightly below normal weight for their size loses it does cause concern and you do not have the education or know all the facts.
OK I think I am done for now just had to get all this off my chest. My MIL got to me the other day with this and that.
I do want to thank my MIL for all the nice things she has done for my family but I really hope she never finds this post.
Wednesday, 24 October 2012
Monday, 15 October 2012
I came across a section of this poem in a book I was reading about high functioning autism, and I want to share it here. I haven't been posting lately because I am trying to come to terms with Mini-mans diagnosis. I haven't had a chance to accept and come to terms with my child and relize that my dreams and hopes for him are going to be different then I had at his birth. Any way here is the poem, no clue who wrote it but the site I got it from is http://www.zoemeszaros.com/1/post/2010/1/how-god-chooses-special-needs-parents.html
Most people become parents by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. This year, nearly 100,000 couples will become parents of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how parents of handicapped children are chosen?
Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint, Matthew. Forrest, Michael,
daughter, patron saint, Cecilia. "Rudledge, Carrie and Adam, twins, patron saint, give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."
Finally, he passes two names to an angel and smiles, "Give them a special needs child."
The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? They're so happy."
"Exactly," says God. "Could I give a special needs child to parents who do not know laughter? That would be cruel."
"But have they patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want them to have too much patience or they will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, they'll handle it.
"I watched them today. They have that feeling of self and dependence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother and father. You see, the child I'm going to give them has his own world. They has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"But, Lord, I don't think they even believe in you."
God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. These two are perfect. They have just enough selfishness. "
The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If they can't separate themselves from the child occasionally, they'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman and a man whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. They doesn't realize it yet, but they are going to be envied. They will never take for granted a 'spoken word.' They will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When their child says 'Momma' for the first
time, they will be present at a miracle and know it! When they describea tree or a sunset to their blind child, they will see it as few people ever see my creations.
"I will permit them to see clearly the things I see . . . ignorance,
cruelty, prejudice . . . and allow them to rise above them. They will
never be alone. I will be at their side every minute of every day of their life, because they are doing my work as surely as they are here by my side."
"And what about their patron saint?" asks the angel, pen poised midair.
God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."
Most people become parents by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. This year, nearly 100,000 couples will become parents of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how parents of handicapped children are chosen?
Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint, Matthew. Forrest, Michael,
daughter, patron saint, Cecilia. "Rudledge, Carrie and Adam, twins, patron saint, give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."
Finally, he passes two names to an angel and smiles, "Give them a special needs child."
The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? They're so happy."
"Exactly," says God. "Could I give a special needs child to parents who do not know laughter? That would be cruel."
"But have they patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want them to have too much patience or they will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, they'll handle it.
"I watched them today. They have that feeling of self and dependence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother and father. You see, the child I'm going to give them has his own world. They has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"But, Lord, I don't think they even believe in you."
God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. These two are perfect. They have just enough selfishness. "
The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If they can't separate themselves from the child occasionally, they'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman and a man whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. They doesn't realize it yet, but they are going to be envied. They will never take for granted a 'spoken word.' They will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When their child says 'Momma' for the first
time, they will be present at a miracle and know it! When they describea tree or a sunset to their blind child, they will see it as few people ever see my creations.
"I will permit them to see clearly the things I see . . . ignorance,
cruelty, prejudice . . . and allow them to rise above them. They will
never be alone. I will be at their side every minute of every day of their life, because they are doing my work as surely as they are here by my side."
"And what about their patron saint?" asks the angel, pen poised midair.
God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."
Sunday, 2 September 2012
Swimming
It seems like different activities bring Mini-man more into our world and out of his. While I do not mind if he zones out once in a while it is becoming more and more often that he seems to be in a completely different place then here and now. He is becoming slightly violent when I try to pull him away from where ever his mind takes him, causing a lot of problems like not knowing what Mini-man will do if Micro-man tries to play with him when Mini-man is in his own world.
It has gotten to the point where people have suggested drugs to control his behaviour. I am not willing to do that at this point in time, mostly because I refuse to drug a child that young who I still have control over most of the time. We have not had too much trouble with aggression to people who are not in the family and when we got the diagnosis I knew that aggression may become an issue mostly due to frustration and in ability to express himself. Still it is difficult to deal with as a parent.
As I type I remember how swimming and water play seems to bring Mini-man back to the here and now, to listen better, and interact more with people. It makes me happy to live in MI and near water, although I do wish we had a pool in town that was shallow enough to let him play in and touch the ground. It makes me want to let Mini-man live in the water. He is so happy in water and is almost like every other child.
I had to share what we found makes him happy and that is water. Water is our savior when it comes to sanity.
It has gotten to the point where people have suggested drugs to control his behaviour. I am not willing to do that at this point in time, mostly because I refuse to drug a child that young who I still have control over most of the time. We have not had too much trouble with aggression to people who are not in the family and when we got the diagnosis I knew that aggression may become an issue mostly due to frustration and in ability to express himself. Still it is difficult to deal with as a parent.
As I type I remember how swimming and water play seems to bring Mini-man back to the here and now, to listen better, and interact more with people. It makes me happy to live in MI and near water, although I do wish we had a pool in town that was shallow enough to let him play in and touch the ground. It makes me want to let Mini-man live in the water. He is so happy in water and is almost like every other child.
I had to share what we found makes him happy and that is water. Water is our savior when it comes to sanity.
Saturday, 25 August 2012
Household changes
First off I need to find a why to organize my post because I am going to start talking about the changes I am making in my household to save cash and go green. I am hoping to make life simpler in the long run by making these changes.So if you do not want to read about how making my own cleaning supplies and laundry detergent has affect my family and my life I understand and you can skip over those post. But for now everything is going to be group together.
Now on to what is working and any effects I have seen so far. Well all I really have been doing is starting to make some of my own cleaning solution which for us is just a 1:1 ratio of vinegar to water, although I do plan to add a few drops of tea tree oil when I have some money to buy it for the additional disinfection properties it has. Now before you go thinking that my house now smells like pickles the vinegar smell goes away as soon as it dries. The one difference I have noticed is in my bathrooms no longer smell like urine from when the boys aim is off. The only other thing is it seems to loosen up the caked on crap on the stove after cooking if I let the solution sit for a couple of minutes.
My next experiment is making and using my own laundry soap. I bought all the supplies I need for less then $20.00 and am hoping that if the detergent works I will be able to cut the cost of washing laundry (which is never ending) down to $0.25 per load or less. If this works I will post a link to the formula I use.
My final hope is by doing all this that I am able to help lessen some of the effects that the chemicals have on my family and improve mini-man behaviour.
Now on to what is working and any effects I have seen so far. Well all I really have been doing is starting to make some of my own cleaning solution which for us is just a 1:1 ratio of vinegar to water, although I do plan to add a few drops of tea tree oil when I have some money to buy it for the additional disinfection properties it has. Now before you go thinking that my house now smells like pickles the vinegar smell goes away as soon as it dries. The one difference I have noticed is in my bathrooms no longer smell like urine from when the boys aim is off. The only other thing is it seems to loosen up the caked on crap on the stove after cooking if I let the solution sit for a couple of minutes.
My next experiment is making and using my own laundry soap. I bought all the supplies I need for less then $20.00 and am hoping that if the detergent works I will be able to cut the cost of washing laundry (which is never ending) down to $0.25 per load or less. If this works I will post a link to the formula I use.
My final hope is by doing all this that I am able to help lessen some of the effects that the chemicals have on my family and improve mini-man behaviour.
Thursday, 23 August 2012
Summer
So I got to thinking that I had not written anything all summer practically and maybe it was due to not feeling like there was anything to talk about and losing my computer due to being peed on. Well now I have a new one and the ability to write something, but I still feel like I have nothing to say.
I know things have happened and I could write about them and some one would eventually read them but right now I feel as if I would be going around in a circle again and I need to change course. My days are starting to run into one another and all of them are the same basic day - run, clean, breakfast, clean, plaground, lunch, clean, nap and miniman therapy, home dinner, playground/work, and bed time.
School starts in a week and I can not wait. I need some sort of break, I love my kids but I can not deal with them full time. I am going to start to ramble if I dont stop soon maybe I will try to write next week
I know things have happened and I could write about them and some one would eventually read them but right now I feel as if I would be going around in a circle again and I need to change course. My days are starting to run into one another and all of them are the same basic day - run, clean, breakfast, clean, plaground, lunch, clean, nap and miniman therapy, home dinner, playground/work, and bed time.
School starts in a week and I can not wait. I need some sort of break, I love my kids but I can not deal with them full time. I am going to start to ramble if I dont stop soon maybe I will try to write next week
Wednesday, 30 May 2012
Food buget
Well it is Wednesday of the first week of the 80 dollar a week food challenge and we are at 74.76 and there is quite a few things I would like to be able to buy, mostly fresh food. As for the addition rules we have decided that money will not roll over. Other then that I don't have much to add, but needed to update my current weekly total.
Monday, 28 May 2012
Day 6 and 7 of Flats handwashing challenge Plus my next challenge
Today I am writing the last of my Flat diaper hand washing challenge, and to sum the experience up it is hard work. I have choose to combine the last two suggested writing topic due to time and having a sick child. My micro-man is really sick and has me worried, we have a Dr. appointment on Tuesday morning. I have learned a lot about myself in this challenge and found me to be more determined then I could have guessed, I also find myself to have a little more ingenuity the I know was possible.
I talked to my Mother-in-Law about her thoughts on cloth diapers and she did not like them due to the mess. I personally do not find them to be much messier then disposable really if I had a diaper sprayer I believe the mess that I do have would go away almost completely. What she did like about cloth was the cost saving and multiple uses other then as diapers.
I have been asking myself the question would I do this challenge again or for longer and the answer is yes I would. If I had to I would even do this as a lifestyle choice. I do not want to give up my washing machine and may have to find a new system to make hand washing work for everyday life.
I have found the different folds for the diapers to be fun to learn I may not be doing them right though and making my own folds. Of course it doesn't matter what fold you use as long as it keeps the baby dry and the poop in the diaper.
All in all this has been a learning experience and I feel like a better person for doing this.
Now for my next challenge, this one will be a lot longer term I am looking at making it last for the summer, I will be feeding my family of 4 on less then $80 a month. The rules of this challenge are not completely set yet but for now in addition to food and drink that $80 also has to cover smokes for my husband. This could be scary.
I will be using this blog to help keep track of my experiences. This week so far I have spent 66.60 and that includes all meat, most veggies and fruit and all of the sides.
Lastly I am going to ask for opinions on so of the rules we are debating 1) should any other items then food and drink be included in that budget? 2) If we have extra money in our pockets can we use that to buy things like smokes, pop, treats for the kids ect. with out including it in our final total? and 3) If there is extra money at the end of a week can we carry the extra to the next week or should we start fresh every week?
Any thoughts ideas opinions would be appreciated.
I talked to my Mother-in-Law about her thoughts on cloth diapers and she did not like them due to the mess. I personally do not find them to be much messier then disposable really if I had a diaper sprayer I believe the mess that I do have would go away almost completely. What she did like about cloth was the cost saving and multiple uses other then as diapers.
I have been asking myself the question would I do this challenge again or for longer and the answer is yes I would. If I had to I would even do this as a lifestyle choice. I do not want to give up my washing machine and may have to find a new system to make hand washing work for everyday life.
I have found the different folds for the diapers to be fun to learn I may not be doing them right though and making my own folds. Of course it doesn't matter what fold you use as long as it keeps the baby dry and the poop in the diaper.
All in all this has been a learning experience and I feel like a better person for doing this.
Now for my next challenge, this one will be a lot longer term I am looking at making it last for the summer, I will be feeding my family of 4 on less then $80 a month. The rules of this challenge are not completely set yet but for now in addition to food and drink that $80 also has to cover smokes for my husband. This could be scary.
I will be using this blog to help keep track of my experiences. This week so far I have spent 66.60 and that includes all meat, most veggies and fruit and all of the sides.
Lastly I am going to ask for opinions on so of the rules we are debating 1) should any other items then food and drink be included in that budget? 2) If we have extra money in our pockets can we use that to buy things like smokes, pop, treats for the kids ect. with out including it in our final total? and 3) If there is extra money at the end of a week can we carry the extra to the next week or should we start fresh every week?
Any thoughts ideas opinions would be appreciated.
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