Wednesday, 24 October 2012

Family and faith

For the record I do not a identify with traditional Christians. I have my own way of viewing life and religion and want my children to have their own too. The problem is my in-law have a very literal view of the bible and want me and my family to be the same. My in-law take the boys to play on Sunday so my husband and I can prep for the week ahead and they get time with the Mini and micro men, the thing is they started taking them to church with out my or my husbands OK. I am extremely pissed about this.
I do not mind my children going to church I have nothing against church, I just do not agree with my in-laws church and the belief that are held there. I have asked them to stop and had thought they did until a week or two ago when I was asked why my kids where not in church that week.
The thing is this is not the first time they have not respected my parenting choices for my children. Like when I was pulling milk for mini-mans diet to check for an allergy, my MIL gave him a cup of milk after I told her not not and she did it right in front of my face, not only did this delay the allergy elimination test it also made min-man sick. He is allergic to milk products that I just found out she continued to give him after milk was found to be an allergy because he asked her for ice cream and cheese. (thank god it is not life threatening)
I know this is turning into a rant but hay what is the use of having a personal blog if I can not go on an occasional rant. 
Now I know my MIL is not all bad, in fact she can be very understanding, she is giving me extra time on my rent so my family has money for the week, but still. Have you ever just wanted to slap some one for stupidity and not respecting you and your family? She is one of the people who makes me wish I could slap people for stupidity and narrow mindedness. You send my son home with hives and wheezing and expect me know to ask what he had to eat when there are food allergies involved then you are a dumb a**. Do not tell me that it could be environmental just because you and yours are having environmental allergies, when mini-man eats the wrong thing the hives appear in a very specific order and area.
Please do not tell me how to feed my child that is between me and my Dr. and the nutritionist. We know that he doesn't look like he is too thin now but he is losing weight and when a 3 almost 4 yo who is of slightly below normal weight for their size loses it does cause concern and you do not have the education or know all the facts. 
OK I think I am done for now just had to get all this off my chest. My MIL got to me the other day with this and that.
I do want to thank my MIL for all the nice things she has done for my family but I really hope she never finds this post.

Monday, 15 October 2012

I came across a section of this poem in a book I was reading about high functioning autism, and I want to share it here. I haven't been posting lately because I am trying to come to terms with Mini-mans diagnosis. I haven't had a chance to accept and come to terms with my child and relize that my dreams and hopes for him are going to be different then I had at his birth. Any way here is the poem, no clue who wrote it but the site I got it from is

Most people become parents by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. This year, nearly 100,000 couples will become parents of handicapped children. Did you ever wonder how parents of handicapped children are chosen?

Somehow I visualize God hovering over Earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.

"Armstrong, Beth, son, patron saint, Matthew. Forrest, Michael,
daughter, patron saint, Cecilia. "Rudledge, Carrie and Adam, twins, patron saint, give her Gerard. He's used to profanity."

Finally, he passes two names to an angel and smiles, "Give them a special needs child."

The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? They're so happy."

"Exactly," says God. "Could I give a special needs child to parents who do not know laughter? That would be cruel."

"But have they patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want them to have too much patience or they will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, they'll handle it.

"I watched them today. They  have that feeling of self and dependence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother and father. You see, the child I'm going to give them has his own world. They has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think they even believe in you."

God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. These two are perfect. They have just enough selfishness. "

The angel gasps, "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If they can't separate themselves from the child occasionally, they'll never survive. Yes, here is a woman and a man whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. They doesn't realize it yet, but they are going to be envied. They will never take for granted a 'spoken word.' They will never consider a 'step' ordinary. When their child says 'Momma' for the first
time, they will be present at a miracle and know it! When they describea tree or a sunset to their blind child, they will see it as few people ever see my creations.

"I will permit them to see clearly the things I see . . . ignorance,
cruelty, prejudice . . . and allow them to rise above them. They will
never be alone. I will be at their side every minute of every day of their life, because they are doing my work as surely as they are here by my side."

"And what about their patron saint?" asks the angel, pen poised midair.

God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."